Archive for February, 2010

When it comes to seducing men, we women can get pretty anxious and paranoid if we’re doing the right thing or not. But then again, when it comes to seduction, there aren’t really rules or regulations — sometimes, you just have to follow your instincts and gut feeling to make it all happen. Now, there sure are a few seduction techniques for women you can definitely try out for yourself but I’m telling you now — they won’t mean a darn thing unless you have the mindset and attitude to make it all happen. So below are just a few hot seduction techniques for women you should try out — make him want you like crazy now!

· He’s not the only guy in the world. Show him you’re up for grabs. Like, he’s not the only guy who’s after you. Guys love a little challenge every once in a while especially if it involves the girl they want. So don’t be too needy — make him see that he’s not the only guy in the world. He’ll definitely get challenged and will pursue even more.

· You have a life. Live your life, follow your schedule, go out with your friends, give in to your passions — just because you’re attracted to this guy doesn’t mean you revolve your world around him. Men are into women who practice independence — they’d go after you even if it kills. Sort of.

· Loosen up and have fun. It’s one of the golden rule in hanging out–have fun and be yourself. Enjoy every minute of your life. You’re going out to forget your problems. Guys would love to be with a girl who can handle things on her own and knows how to enjoy.

· Tease him and play hard-to-get. Don’t be needy for his attention. Don’t be desperate to make him notice you. You’re on amazing girl and lucky him if you even give him the slightest grin. Come on, give high value to yourself. The more you do, the more irresistible you become.

· Always keep him wondering. Be a mystery. Tease his imagination. Don’t reveal everything about yourself all at once. Make sure you get him curious and intrigued about you as much as you can. That’s going to keep him glued to you for as long as you like.

Learning a few seduction techniques will absolutely get you a little edge from the rest of the female species. As long as you’re all positive and optimistic about it, you will have a greater chance to make him want you like crazy. Sometimes, it’s all in the mind, girl. Thinking about happy thoughts won’t hurt, you know.

Anyone who’s heard of Neil Strauss’s bestselling book, The Game, will be aware of the term PUA, which stands for Pick Up Artist, and a shadowy group of individuals who have formed a ‘pua community’ in order to work out the best methods to seducing women. These methods are about to become public for the first time, and will be able to be witnessed on VH1′s latest reality show, The Pick Up Artist.
Over the decades PUAs have been studying and breaking down stages of social interaction, and testing various methods in a relentless quest to seduce women. Neil Strauss himself went from a geeky, short, nervous and balding thirty year old to one of the best pick up artists in the world with the ability to seduce almost any woman he chooses, all thanks to the guidance from Erick Von Markovick, AKA Mystery PUA.
Many people doubted the validity of Strauss’s claims, with claims abounding that there was no way someone could learn to be good with women.
For anyone who doubts this theory there is a chance to witness first hand both the methods and the transformations that they bring about in VH1′s show, The Pick Up Artist. In this show eight individuals, who by their own admission have serious failings when it comes to socialising with women, will be given the chance to be trained by one of the best pick up artists in the world, Mystery PUA.
Author of The Mystery Method, and trainer of the now infamous Neil Strauss, Mystery and his two wingmen, Matador and J Dog will coach these eight individuals in their dress sense, body language, and social skills, teaching them the secrets that every man wants to learn, how to be ‘good with women’, and how to become The Pick Up Artist.
Each week the contestants will be set a ‘Field Test’ whereby they will be expected to go out into the real world of bars, clubs and coffee shops and interact with women, using techniques from The Mystery Method. Whoever performs the best will be given a pick up ‘prop’ to help them in the next challenge, such as an ear piece to get advice from Matador, one of Mystery’s wing men, whilst whoever performs the worst will have to pack their bags and go home.
Among the eight ‘socially awkward’ contestants is a forty five year old virgin, a man who freezes and is unable to speak when talking to women, and six other men, all of whom are desperate to be coached in how to interact with women. Hidden cameras will follow their interactions with women and will document their transformation at every stage, until the final individual is crowned a ‘Master Pick Up Artist’, by Mystery PUA, as well as collecting prize money of $50,000.
Crucially this will give people a chance to witness some key things about pick up, and seduction. The eight individuals are not testosterone charged ego maniacs with a deep seated hatred of all things female, they are simple eight people who struggle to fit in and want to improve themselves. Despite all of them desperately wanting a girlfriend and a social life, they simply don’t have the confidence, and the thought of going out into the world and talking to people, especially women, terrifies them. The Pick Up Artist will be one of the first opportunities to demonstrate to people that being good with women is not necessarily something that you are born with, it is something that can be broken down, taught and developed, as demonstrated by Mystery Method instructors the world over. And it is taught to people who are decent, ordinary guys, who have always had to watch the world of relationships and female companionship pass them, leaving them only able to wonder why some guys get all the luck.
It will be a chance to see both Mystery PUA and his highly regarded formula, The Mystery Method in action. Those who once scoffed at the idea that ‘geeks’ and ‘social misfits’ can never learn to get girls will no doubt be surprised.

You know guys who have women literally eating out of their hand. Admit it – you’ve envied them but you’ve said to yourself. “What a jerk, can’t she see through his antics?”; “Why don’t women go for me like they go for him? Can’t women see I am a genuine guy who is serious about wanting a relationship?”

The reason women don’t go for you – a genuine guy- who is seriously looking for a relationship is that you are most probably too serious.  Don’t get me wrong she is seriously looking for a relationship but it has to be fun to start off with. She wants a playmate too. She wants a man who can make her laugh.

Getting married, keeping house and having children is serious business and she wants it all, don’t be mistaken but she thinks all that is going to be fun. She sees the love stories on TV and in movies where the leading girl and guy are having fun. It all looks so enjoyable. So the first step to getting a woman is to make it enjoyable and fun.

You may not be the playful type. If you haven’t got a woman, it’s probably because you are a serious type; women don’t usually go for really serious guys. So lighten up. It’s OK to be serious at work, serious about playing chess or football but if you are serious about wanting a woman you must change your strategy, or you won’t get one.

It’s not easy to change overnight. It takes practice.  I’m going to show you how.

Rule No 1

You have to be out there and available to attract women.  You won’t get a woman whilst you are sitting at your computer.  You may be able to have an on-line woman but most of those don’t eventuate. They are Clayton’s dates. Be a real man and get yourself a real woman.

Set aside two nights a week for going out and looking for women. They are not going to come knocking on your door.   Or make it easy for yourself; go to a reliable introduction agency. Do your research, check out a few websites. Pay a visit before you join up; ask questions, ask to see testimonials, ask to talk to a client who is using the service.

If you join an introduction agency you won’t have to find women you will get a regular supply but you will have to allow time at least twice a week to meet women.

Rule No 2

Don’t expect to end up with the first woman you meet. Expect to have several ‘practice runs’ before you land the woman of your dreams.

If you expect the first woman you take out to be Ms Right you will get too serious too soon and blow it. Expect to burn a few along the way, and then you won’t be so disappointed.

Be careful what you think about before your speak to her, meet her for coffee or take her out on a date. If you keep imagining she will be Ms Right it will make you so nervous I guarantee you will blow it. Imagine each woman you meet is just going to be a friend and a practice run.

DON’T EXPECT MUCH. If you learn nothing else this is the key to having women eat out of your hand. Expect little. When you expect little you are more likely to relax, it is easier to tease and be cool if this woman is only a practice run.

Rule No.3

Flirt, be playful and make her laugh. “How on earth am I going to be playful and flirt?” you ask. You have never been a flirt but you have been a tease when you were younger.  All guys know how to tease. Women love to be teased they love the attention. You’ve teased your siblings or you’ve teased your dog so you know how to do it.

Unless you are a very experienced joke teller and you know you tell them well, forget that idea. You can make her laugh by telling her the funny things that happened at work. You can tell her stories against yourself. Women really appreciate men who can laugh at themselves – but not all the time.

One of the easiest ways to make her laugh is to tease her. She loves it because you are giving her attention and WOMEN LOVE ATTENTION.  If you have the opportunity – practice teasing your mother & sisters or the older women at work. It takes practice so you have to start somewhere.

You say, “I don’t want to get caught flirting with the older women at work”. No don’t flirt with them, just tease. The type of flirting you do with a NEW WOMAN is as tame as you would be with the older women at work. Practise on the tea lady or the woman behind the cafeteria counter.

No matter what all the men’s books on “How to be a Ladies Man” state, don’t dare try outrageously flirting by  touching, stealing a kiss or wrestling with her, or  any other direct method . You cannot afford to even dare try these methods with a new woman. It won’t win you brownie points; it is more likely that she will run for cover.

Because you are new at this make your flirting as innocent as you would tease the older women at work. If you make friends with her, then you can flirt outrageously but not before. Even then you might lose a good friend if you overstep the mark.  Now that I’ve warned you about seriously flirting, remember you must flirt, but gently.

No matter how gorgeous she is you can’t afford to take her seriously. You must tease and be playful to get her attention.  If you haven’t done your homework – PRACTISED BEFOREHAND- expect that your first few attempts may fail.

Rule No. 4

Women are turned on by attention. Women love you to remember what they have told you. Women love reliable men. Men who ring when they say they will.  Did you know MEN SEE – WOMEN FEEL? It’s how you make her feel that counts. If she is not at all interested in you but you are fun to be with, remember what you told her yesterday and ring her when you say you will, SHE WILL CHANGE HER MIND.

If you don’t think you can flirt or charm, you can listen. Shyness is usually caused by too much focus on one’s self.  If you are shy, you must make an effort to put an imaginary frame around her face and listen carefully to everything she says. Don’t peer to closely into her eyes.

Look at her nose and smile with your eyes while you are listening. Acknowledge what she is saying. You know – say things like “no kidding”, “really”. A really cool guy will say, “How did you feel about that?” or “That wouldn’t have made you too happy”, or “I’ll bet you were pleased about that”. Cool comments when used at the right time.

All women love a man who is a good listener. Harry was a shy country boy but he wasn’t too shy. Some guys’ shyness causes them to be so self absorbed that they don’t listen. Harry listened to women.

He was often seen sitting out dances listening to women, women of all ages. He won their hearts by just listening. He didn’t only listen to the pretty ones he listened to all of them. He eventually won the heart of a very pretty girl who loved the attention of a man who listened.

Rule No 5

SHOW OFF. Show her your strengths.  If you are reading this article, I take it you are not a great lover . . . YET . . . so don’t try getting her into bed on the first night.  Leave that until she is your best friend. It is much easier to seduce your best friend than it is to seduce a woman you hardly know. And you don’t want to be accused of “date rape”.

By strengths I don’t mean sexual pursuits but normal strengths. Everyone is good at something or knowledgeable about something. Whether it’s football, golf, art or music. Try to interest her in stuff that you are good at.

Everyone shines when they are good at something or knowledgeable. Knowledge is power, it’s your strength.  When she sees you at your best and most knowledgeable she won’t be able to resist you.Sue came to visit me at Entre Nous to report in about Graham she had recently met. Here’s her story:

I wasn’t at all interested in Graham but he invited me to go Kayaking. I had never been kayaking and really wanted to go but not with him. Anyway I said yes. The kayaking won. He came to pick me up. He had all the gear, was really well organised, knew what he was doing and we had such a good time. By the end of the afternoon I really liked him. We have been an item ever since.

If you take her to the football, keep up a running commentary. If you go to an art gallery, read up about the art beforehand. If it’s a play, know all the actors and directors off by heart beforehand. This is subtle showing off and will have her eating out of your hand, if you are well mannered and considerate, take an interest in her and listen to her and tease her and make the outing fun. If you are going to listen to music, make sure you know all about that music beforehand, DO YOUR HOMEWORK.

Rule No. 6

Make her feel appreciated

Of course you appreciate her or you wouldn’t be interested. It goes without saying! Doesn’t it? NO! Women have to be told over and over that you appreciate them every time you meet them. However you can’t say ‘good woman’ like you say ‘good dog’ to Rover. You must be much more subtle than that.

Notice things:” Is that a new outfit? It looks great. You hair’s different today, it really suits you.

Remember things she has said: You said your mother isn’t well yesterday, is she OK now? Your boss was giving you a hard time, has the situation improved? You said you were concerned about. ……… has there been any improvement?”  When you are enquiring about personal things she has told you ask in a confidential manner when you are alone.

Express how you feel about her: She should know how you feel about her but women need to be told every time you meet or talk on the phone. Don’t tell her she turns you on if you are still at the ‘just friends’ stage, it will scare her off.   Here are some examples but you know what you like about her, tell her so:

“You have such a cute smile. I like they way you walk. I love the way you burst into laughter so easily. I love to hear you chatting on so easily. I love the way you twist your hair around your finger. I am impressed by your loyalty to your friends. I am impressed by your care for your family.”

If you notice her appearance, remember things she has told you, and express how you feel about her, you will have her eating out of your hand in no time.

Rule No 7

Ooze confidence socially

There is only one way you can do this and that is to practise being sociable with everyone you meet and act as though you are confident. If you act confidently, you will be surprised how your confidence will increase.  NEVER BE SELECTIVE WHEN PRACTISING.  You need to practise on everyone.

Have an extra little chat with people you would normally just say hello to. For people you would not normally speak to: say “hello”; in lifts, passing in corridors, in shops, wherever you are keep speaking to people. It may not be your style however it’s going to give you confidence socially and you need this confidence if you are going to impress her.

Confidence is power and women are impressed by powerful men.  It’s more important than good looks, height or money.

Now don’t say: “this is too hard and it’s not me”. If you keep doing the same old things you will end up with the same old result. You are reading this because you want women to eat out of your hand – so keep reading.

If you start saying “hello” to people in corridors without stopping, you will notice that people will make an effort to speak to you next time you pass.  Try to become popular. Popular people speak to EVERYONE, they are not choosey.

Popular people offer assistance when they can. Popular people listen to what others have to say and remember things that have been said so that they can follow up when appropriate.

Popular men speak to all women not just the attractive, single women.  Have you noticed how the playboy chats up all women – from 8 – 80 years, all sizes and shapes? He doesn’t differentiate.  By the time he gets to a stunning woman he is so practised he can charm her sox off on automatic pilot.

Become more sociable with your friends. Go out more. Don’t let your woman think you are a recluse. It would be no fun for her if you have no fun. Make an effort. It’s all part of practising.

Three very important tips to developing your social confidence are:1 Laugh at others’ jokes, whether they are funny or not. Be quick to laugh. Get into the habit of laughing more.2 Accept compliments with thanks and try to repay the compliment at the time. Always, always, always say something like: “Thanks, I was just admiring your …………..”3  Pay compliments when you think them. Don’t worry about whether your mates will get a swollen head, tell them when you think they are doing something great or look good.  This will get you into the habit of being able to comfortably compliment a woman without feeling awkward.

You have to start somewhere so start with your friends and family. Practise, practise, practise.  You can pretend to be confident but when you are tired or relaxed your inner self will let you down. You need to be used to this new confidence routine that’s why it’s important to practise.

The nice genuine guys who are a little on the shy side tell me that at nightclubs the used car salesmen get all the good looking women.  Yet girls tell me that the only guys they ever meet at nightclubs are used car salesmen.  The used car salesmen have developed confidence through their job.

However most girls are inclined to think of the used car salesman as superficial because he is not at all subtle and comes on too strong too soon.

Most men shy away from really beautiful women. They don’t have the confidence to approach them. We find at Entre Nous dating agency that we seem to get more than our share of the stunningly beautiful women because men are afraid to approach them.

At an Entre Nous Spring Madness Ball, the most beautiful woman in the room with a Barbie doll figure complained that no one asked her to dance.

You can have a very beautiful woman, all you have to do is have the confidence and know that you most probably won’t have much competition.

Rule No 8

Get Away with Touching

You will need to be very careful about touching a new woman but with practise you can get away with heaps.  It’s all to do with confidence. The secret is not to overdo it. Try touching all women so that you develop confidence within yourself.

When you are ushering a woman ahead of you through doorways etc. Touch her shoulder ever so lightly.  When you open a car door, offer your hand to help her out of the car – it’s up to her to let go, don’t you let go.

At the water cooler touch her hand when you pass her a drink or in bars touch her hand as you give her a drink. Take her arm or touch her elbow, when you cross the road. Now out of date was the lighting of a cigarette, you touched her hand ever so slightly as you protected the flame from the wind.

When you tease a woman you can take something of hers and force her to touch you to get it back, but only if you have learned to be quick to laugh. When you develop confidence you can ask for a kiss in return. If you think she likes you, you can play truth or dare whilst walking or travelling.

Dare her to wear your tie; kiss your hand, hold your hand all the way up the street.  If she does, make sure you stroke it ever so lightly, so gently that she couldn’t complain.

Touching a woman inappropriately will send her off in the opposite direct so fast you will not know what’s hit you – unless she hits you. Whereas if you are really gentle and subtle, you will be amazed at how often you can touch her.

Rule No 9

Accepting Rejection

No one likes rejection. You can avoid it by not doing anything or you can be subtle in the way you approach women.  The Playboy has a very tough skin, he can be as cheeky as he likes and sometimes he gets away with it and other times he doesn’t – he gets rejected. He can take it; it’s all part of the game.

I have given you enough suggestions to develop your confidence, however if you touch women inappropriately or try to be too familiar too soon you will certainly be rejected.  If you don’t want to have your new self confidence shattered, be subtle.

Do you want the type of woman who accepts an overly familiar approach? No, of course not, because she would be too easy with every guy.

You will be rejected for sure if you keep trying to attract women but as you develop confidence and become astute at knowing how to avoid rejection, your rejections will become fewer and fewer.  It is better to be less daring and have fewer rejections.

Don’t try to emulate the superficial used car salesmen or the experienced playboy, develop your own style which is sensitive, genuine and caring of women.

Professional seducers swear that waiting to meet women in social circles is a waist of time. More simple men think that picking up women is too challenging ‘or not for them’. Really which approach yields the best results without violating each persons behavior ??

This is our modern time questions.

Girls love to meet their prince charming casually, they dream of meeting you accidentally and by chance. That usually includes meeting you at a somewhat more private party (a birthday or a wedding, but not a nightclub), being introduced to you through a mutual friend, having common interests (hobbies, sports etc) and meeting you through events organized for people practicing these interests; school, work, hobbies, friends, and relatives being the common denominators here.

That is also why trying to pick up a girl in the street or on the commuter is so much harder to do than just “meeting her casually” – it is completely different from what she has been dreaming of and in addition to having to make her like you the way you present yourself, you’ll have to compensate for not being able to have the silent recommendation of having mutual friends or hobbies plus dismiss any of her doubts of you “doing this (picking up girls) all the time”, a thought which might weigh against you even if she actually likes you and your approach.

But whether you want to make the girl like you having met her casually or doing a more direct pick-up, you’ll be using the same techniques nevertheless. Opting for a casual meeting just simplifies your task of getting her to like you and has a higher probability of her coming to expect a long time relationship once things get serious (whether you like or want that to happen is already a different subject), whereas pick-ups are tougher to pull off successfully, but they also broaden your choice of girls far beyond those that you happen to meet “casually” plus each failure and succcess will build your experience and confidence respectively far more than casual meetings could ever do. In short, casual meetings are safe, pick-ups more rewarding, and the choice is yours, but a healthy mixture of both is probably the best way to go.

For some professional seducers, seduction in a social circle environment seems extremely easy unless they use risky tactics. In order however to arrive to a level to become a professional seducer you must read and undertand the very big principles of that art. A good place to start is here.